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Getting Your Loved One On Board


Sometimes the need for help is sudden and obvious. More often, though, it becomes apparent gradually. So, how will you know? Watch for changes in your loved ones behavior…ignoring hobbies, missing dates with friends, forgetting to pay bills. Once you understand the situation, you can help develop a plan. Your next challenge…”Getting Your Loved One on Board” with that plan.

Here are a few helpful tips:

Ease Into It
If possible…provide help bit by bit, “in spoonfuls and not buckets.” Start by offering to hire someone for a task your loved one doesn’t like, such as cleaning.

Set a Time Line
Try presenting care, in whatever form, as something to try out for a little while.

Make Your Relative the Boss
Describe care providers as “assistants” to show that your loved one is still in charge.

Tweak the Language
Frame help in the way that will most appeal to your relative. Maybe it’s a deserved luxury; maybe it’s something recommended by a trusted doctor or friend.

Don’t Command
Include your loved one in any decision. Avoid telling them what they “need to do”… this usually triggers resistance.

Seek Answers
If your relative is reluctant to accept care, try to figure out why. Your loved one may be assuming one scenario while you’re imagining another.

Turn the Tables
Remind your loved one that by accepting help, they are easing your fears and making your life less stressful.